Finding More Than Me

Part 1: Acknowledgment
Everyone has a different voice.
Some part of us
that isn’t supposed to be understood.
It’s hidden over time
as we navigate through deciding which parts of us are real.
Not the real that is made of truth
but the real that is built on expectations.
Hidden so carefully
that most of us will never know
what it sounds like
to sing a song
in the voice
that we were gifted.

Part 2: The Dreamer
Sometimes I wish that I could hear you
in the dark.
I wish I could see you when you lay quietly, motionless, amidst my
twilight.
I wish the sound of your breath
reminded me of the stars
Stars that are reflections of who we are.
Bright and vibrant but
silent as the moon.
I wish my visions were clear,
melted away like fog against summer’s waves.
I wish time passed, was more like a time lapse
Adjusting my perception with less capacity to remember you.

Part 3: Memories
You darling
are staring into time.
Not the time that makes a sound
That beckoning tick tock.
No, not anything that you can hear,
But that oblivion that brings you back to somewhere.
Somewhere, where we’ve both called out something,
into the darkness.
Called out amongst
the star dust,
I love you.
I need you,
we called out,
into the blackness of this time.
Somewhere, where we’ve lasted beyond my mind.
Somewhere, where,
I love,
is the only light.

Part 4: Distance
I love you, is something we’ve both heard a time or two.
An echoing that often plays the role
of each other’s
Sweet foe.
Effects from long ago
whisper lies into your ears.
Don’t believe me?
That’s ok,
I am already sinking away.
You’re always asking me, if your sound is coming in clear.
That’s a silly question dear.
You should know by now,
its not the function of hearing you
that turns me down.

 

Part 5: Acceptance Goes Both Ways
Remember,
we have gone around with this,
time and time again.
and once more the honesty of memories has failed.
I apologize, for all the confusion I have built inside your head.
I acknowledge, that my voice has never worked.
I accept, that you can’t get past my lack of words.
I admit, I’ve lost you in a place without a name.
I am sorry.
I would have given you directions,
if you lived inside my brain.
But even then,
the directions are written in a language that only I can understand.

Part 6: Farewell
Don’t argue
I wish you well
See you around
Goodbye now
Safe travels is all I want to say
As we drift into new lands
Where new I love yous wait
And time stops
And memories are shaped
Where words escape
And darkness fades
And dreams come true
Where wishing is lost
And wills are build
And everything is new
Far away from all we know
Where risk will sweep us away
I will always cradle you
Deep inside my mind
I am secretly blessing you
For a freedom you still pretend isn’t true.

 

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