Welcome to Honing Your Reality, my name is Mena and I am over-joyed to have you here with me.
A little over a year ago I quit my 9 to 5 job (actually it was 6:45-3:15) and opted for the homemaker lifestyle. Homemaker and writer that is, that was the dream. Unfortunately, I put my dream on hold and instead I found myself wading in the pool of life. I never swam anywhere, and I definetly never attempted to get out and try a different pool. I was content and happy in the sense that I knew exactly what life was bringing me, no surprises, no challenges, all the same ups and downs of a classically predictable life. At least that is what I told myself.
We have all been there a time or two. A cross-roads, a turning point, a moment in life where a decision must be made. Whether you are deciding what college to attend, if a specific job is right for you, maybe you’re getting engaged or married or divorced, or it could be that nagging feeling that it’s time to have a baby. Of course, there are hundreds of small decisions made by each of us everyday, but today I am not talking about small decisions, I am talking about decisions that will change our lives.
Right now, I am making a decision that will change my life.
I am starting a blog.
I would like to say, that I made this decision carefully, and I planned everything out, even down to the type of font that I am using, but I can’t tell you that. Don’t get me wrong, I thought about it long and hard, but I never planned anything.
This might not sound like a life changing decision, but it is because for this thing to be real, for it to be exactly what it is in my dreams, I will have to turn myself inside out and then back again.
Why? May you ask. Because for me to produce content that is above swallow, this is going to have to get a little raw from time to time.
I have wrestled and fought myself to this point for over a year. When I got the idea to start a blog I was excited, I thought I could just throw caution to the wind and start manically posting my poetry and ranty thoughts. Then, I sat down to look at blog sites and to be honest even the most simple format had me running for the hills.
Picking a website name, photos, and what company I would choose to create my page was overwhelming. It was the first time on this journey where I chose resistance over my dream. Last year, I tried for about an hour maybe slightly more to create a blog site and then I just gave up. I shut off the computer and started making excuses.
I began painting a new reality for myself, in this new reality I truly began to believe that I had no right posting for the world to see.
I told myself that I was not orignal enough to have a blog. I told myself I was being pretentious by believing I had any ability to help others or provide anything meaningful. I told myself that I didn’t have time to dedicate to writing. I told myself I could never keep it up becuase I’m a quitter. That my grammar isn’t good enough for the internet. That my vocabulary is too small. That I am not smart enough. The list goes on and on. After I conviced myself of these lies, I stopped talking about blogging, even writing all together.
I actually got uncomfortable when people asked me if I was writing, I didn’t want to remember how I created this life where I literally destroyed my own confidence. I destroyed my own dream.
What in the hell am I doing? Where did my life go? How did time get away from me so fast?
Most of us come to a point in life where things feel unbearable. Or the point where the meaning of life begins slipping away. What am I to do? Wake up, get the kids off to school, clean, look at social media, meal plan, pay bills, run errands, and smile all day long? Live for those moments were something exciting happens, or vacation comes my way? Hey, I am not saying I don’t love and appreciate my life. What I am saying is, I don’t feel bad for knowing that life is so much more than me being wrapped tightly in my nuclear world. I am talking about passion.
It has come to the point where I know that to feel whole I need to connect on a deep level with other humans. In order to make this happen, I feel compelled to expose myself to the world, in order to pull you all closer, not to me, but to everyone and everything the universe has blessed us with. I am compelled to break down the walls that separate us and say, “see we are all made of the same matter”.
We all have the power to live with pure love bursting out of our hearts. I want you to know the amount of joy that I experience when the space in my heart that cries out everyday, “reach further!”, is filled with the returning love of all existence. No more excuses. My ego will not control my decision to speak anymore.
My ego may still whisper in my ear that I will fail, but I don’t care, better to try and fail than never try at all. Better to say I tried, than to write and just to save it to my phone then delete it when I have a bad day. I once wrote that the muse must feel that her soft loving touch is wasted on my mind.
I once believed that entering this world, this extremely public world was something only built for those with real skills, and well, I can barely work a computer. I have no college degrees. Essentially I am no one. I am just a human, traveling through this dimension, hoping to make the best of my time.
So, welcome to my blog, welcome to the point where I begin to dismantle and recreate my reality. Welcome to the point where you can decide this too.
Join me for the new ups and downs. Join me for the triumphant moments, and the moments that just pass us by. Join me as we talk for days about nothing, months about breaking old habits, years about understanding the ego, and decades about the energies of the universe.
Join me in knowing that in all honesty, I have no idea what we will talk about, because like I said I didn’t plan this. The path is already paved by the divine creator. How I navigate the path will either add or take away from me connecting to my true-self and my mission here on earth. Walking my path will feel much sweeter with you by my side doing the same, so join me and lets hone our perfect realities.
I am not a therapist or a healthcare professional. This site, its content and I am a work in progress. I am sharing what I have experienced, and what I am currently doing to increase my happiness, well-being, and alignment with my true-self. I give no guarantees and this site is friendly advice, entertainment, and my personal opinions.
If you are struggling with serious mental health issues, please seek professional by calling The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK.